Journey, In viaggio col dolore




25. FLASH. Self-mothering.

Mothering myself to me is an achievement. At least for me. I lived with the need to feel strong, independent, and not needy. "I'm all in one piece. I manage by myself."
But life isn't just 'getting by.' Life is not surviving. Life is an opportunity!
Until I told myself I was strong enough to succeed independently, I didn't know how to receive help from others. Only from certain people did I accept it, and, unable to ask for fear of rejection, I rarely asked.
 
Mothering myself is saying to me: 'OK! So far, I can do it, but today I need ....'  Or: 'Today I feel lonely, and I need to know how this friend of mine is because I miss her! Talk to her about me, listen to her, understand how she lives in this period, exchange our gossip and ideas and dreams, projects, fears, and emotions.' And look for her, and tell her!
 
 
Mothering myself is taking my frailties seriously, where I feel vulnerable. And feed my real needs.
I let go of the need to feel strong. I let go of the need to be looked at because it's me now looking at myself. Halleluja.
 
 
 
 
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