20. MY JOURNEY WITH PAIN. The Fragrance.
Needless to say, that group of VOICING©
was one of the important chapters of my life. I came out transformed, gassed a thousand, passionate, ecstatic!
The spiritual master is said to come like an earthquake. And Osho certainly was with me!
I finally found people who thought like me about many essential things about life and human behavior. They were not bigoted; they were free, looking for themselves in an innocent and very courageous way. I was marveled and happy to have discovered a new planet! I felt a sense of belonging and familiarity never felt before, not even as a girl in feminist struggles.
In that new world, they invited me to be honest with myself and express my power, not necessarily being kind, trained as a good bourgeois lady. And I was also asked to say "I want!" which was very difficult for me. It was not a rebellion or contradiction. It was the first step of a path. It was regaining essential qualities betrayed and buried by the conditionings of state culture and religion, and by family education. Having a well-placed grounding on earth and in the world, don't play the victim and know what you want, clarity and honesty. I felt no judgment about spontaneity, passion, vulnerability, and even anger, but on the contrary, acceptance. And above all, I recognized a new sense of life within me that led me to have incredible, unspeakable sensations. What I later began to call 'the poetry of life.'
In August, for a 3-week meditation, I returned to Miasto, one of the last ones Osho created, the 'Mystic Rose.' After three days, I took the Sannyas straight from Shunyo, who gave me the name of Ma Atmo Prayan, 'The innermost journey.' This name crossed my being, and I felt it appropriate for my inner path. That was the movement I had to practice to make myself happen. Do not seek approval outside, travel within me, going through my uncertainties and my safety, the lights and shadows, inside.
How much joy, laughter, and even tears. It was the welcome of the world of Osho, world of sannyas and sannyasins, 'my people.' And Miasto was and is such a beautiful, well-kept, harmonious Osho Commune!
As I came back home, I learned to use a professional program to record music and voices on the computer, thanks to my dear guitarist friend Marco Abamo
. The inspiration came like an outpouring flood, with the need to tell in my voice how I had lived the Mystic Rose Meditation and the Sannyas.
Even in Miasto, during the meditation sessions' pauses, I had to write the notes and words of future songs on toilet paper not to forget them! I had never felt so much creativity in me. I produced the CD 'The Fragrance'
with the help of some musician friends who encouraged me to express myself in that new way, mainly mine, with my overlapping vocal tracks, my 'voices from within.'
It was my first CD, the first fragrance not only as a singer but also as an author, composer, and above all, an independent producer.
I didn't invest much energy to sell it and advertise it. It is a very niche product, but it was the first step of a creative process that would never stop in my life's ups and downs. I was no longer a cover singer only, but I was an author and a composer. Someone who conceived an artistic project and made it concrete in the world, with her precise style. Today I look at this whole period with wonder, observing the change that Osho has produced in me and my life, in that timid beginning in which I slowly learned to know the dimension of awareness and to know myself more deeply.
"... in the case of Mariangela Bettanini, it is an understatement to speak only of "voice." The singular declension of the term does not adapt to the polymorphic reality that the voice of this artist can give off. Her sound path establishes a rediscovery of the plurality of "voices within" that we sense we have, but we no longer know how to evoke. There are panic and ecstatic joy, terror, and enchantment. Moreover, there is a serene and aware mastery that even distant cultures have found different answers to make the emotion resound in the voice's sparkle. In the various tracks of The Fragrance, we find the lessons of the African American school of singing and that of the European avant-gardes, the schools of the East and the Far North: a work that we could define as a sort of sound prism reverberating fragments of a new "sound landscape."
PRAYAN 'NAMASTE' IN THE VIDEO ON THE SIDE. (All voices are by Prayan).
'Namastè.' ('I greet the buddha in you')
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