Journey, In viaggio col dolore

12. MY JOURNEY WITH PAIN. "Cose della Vita" ("Things of Life").

At the beginning of '98, the pain and swelling of the fingers returned. I turned to an acupuncture luminary that I was lucky enough to have 180 kilometers away, in Aix-en-Provence.
I learned from him that if they had given me the specific examination of ferritin - when they didn't understand anything because the analyzes were okay - they would have immediately understood if it was arthritis or not.
One year later, the examination showed that I had very low ferritin.
And so I started acupuncture treatment with him, going two afternoons a week to Aix-en-Provence. When he asked me if I had a husband or a relationship, and I said no, he said to me: "So instead of once, come twice a week."
In early July, I left the makeshift apartment in Cannes, where I had taken refuge after parting with Pascal. I changed the air and moved to Nice, a city much more lively and fun.
For a year now, I had been singing in the club on the Promenade des Anglais with François, an outstanding ex-guitarist pianist, and an excellent singer.
He and I blew up the ceiling. The timetable was challenging. He started at 10 pm. At 11 pm, I went up, and we went on for 4 or 5 hours with a half-hour break.
I was so happy to sing with him! We loved the same American, Italian, and French musicians. So, I sang Tina Turner, Stevie Wonder, Mina, Giorgia, and many other beautiful songs. François had invited me to learn songs to sing in a duet with him, which I found added to our repertoire, mostly since it was a female voice and a male voice.
My manager and other hotel musicians told François that I had changed. One day he said to me that and said he replied: "She hasn't changed! She has always been like this! It was enough to give her proper space and value ".
Some people used to come to listen to us from Montecarlo and Sanremo regularly. I became friends with some customers from Sanremo, fine jazz connoisseurs, and we continued to hang out for a long time in the years to follow. I got contaminated by their passion and jazz culture, so we went to some beautiful concerts at the Cimiez Festival in Nice and the equally prestigious Juan Les Pins. My gratitude goes to them because I remember that now and then they said to me: 'Why don't you sing jazz?' Therefore, they laid the foundations for my future musical growth.
In addition to the widespread pains, summer arrived, and I began to feel that sense of exhaustion typical of those with arthritis. It was a feeling that came at the end of the day, and that made me want to have a cook, a butler, and a driver because I lacked the energy to make me eat and 'take me' to sleep. And it came to me at any moment, without warning.
(As a young girl, I was lazy; I put things off. Thanks to this disease, I still take advantage of the moments in which I have the energy to do the things to do, and therefore I developed an iron will, exaggerated!)
Also, there was a problem with my right elbow: my hands weren't very well, either. I was careful to avoid alcohol and sugar, but unfortunately, I didn't know that I was intolerant to gluten and milk. At that time, doing these tests was not used, and now, in hindsight, I think, if I had known, I could have avoided creating unnecessary inflammation with food.
During the half-hour break at the club, I used to cry for tiredness and the lack of perspective. Although I loved my apartment near Nice's old port and the work was going well, I felt very alone. I knew many people, but they were superficial relationships, and I didn't find anyone because they were sentimentally busy for the most part. And the man I was looking for didn't go to night clubs.
I felt like a hamster on a wheel that turns, turns, turns, and does not go anywhere, does not build anything.
Those pains were telling me it was time to change my life. Sleeping at night and working during the day, healthier life. I wanted this for my health. And, deeper and more honestly, I had a great need to feel loved and be in a relationship of love, exchange, nourishment, and sharing.
'Loving someone deeply gives you courage. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength. '
Lao Tsu
Sono umane situazioni
Quei momenti fra di noi
I distacchi ed i ritorni
Da capirci niente e poi
Gia come vedi
Sto pensando a te...sì...da un po'
They're just human contradictions
Feeling happy feeling sad
These emotional transitions
All the memories we've had
Yes, you know it's true
That I just can't stop thinking of you.
No I just can't pretend
All the time that we spent could die
Wanna feel that love
All the love we felt then
Confinanti di cuore solo che ognuno sta
Dietro gli steccati degli orgogli suoi
Sto pensando a te
Sto pensando a noi
Sono cose della vita
Vanno prese un po' cosi
Some for worse and some for better
But through it all we've come so far
Già...come vedi
Io sto ancora in piedi perché
Sono umani tutti i sogni miei
Con le mani io li prenderei, sì perchè
What's life without a dream to hold?
Take my hand and never let me go
It's part of life together
But what future does it hold?
Sono cose della vita
Ma la vita poi dov'è, dov'è
Yes, you know it's true
I just can't stop thinking of you
Questa notte che passa piano accanto a me
Cerco di affrontarla, afferrarla
If our hearts miss a beat
Or get lost like a ship at sea
I wan to remember, I can never forget
Can't stop thinking of you
Sto pensando a noi
Can't stop thinking of you

Can't stop