03. MY JOURNEY WITH PAIN. The value of Self.
An Italian customer, one of the wealthiest men in Europe at the time, often came to play at the Hotel Casino and stayed for long periods, so he often listened to us play and sing. He told me several times: "What are you doing here? Why don't you go and make records?"
And once he even said it in the presence of my manager.
I felt it was too much more significant than me, which wasn't for me.
A 'classic' for those who have arthritis is devaluing their being. Don't have a sense of value in depth; don't receive it at the cellular level.
You are aware of your skills and qualities, but you do not believe it entirely. It is as if they belonged to 'someone else' or as if the life you live and what happens to you does not happen to you.
And when they offer you a chance, you don't believe it. It's not for you. You don't trust it because, at best, you value what you're doing, but deeper, you cannot give value to your being in this world.
If you get an opportunity, you can't "put yourself in the game" at a deep level, because as a child you received negative judgments about your talent, so don't believe it anymore. Often you find emotional justifications. You need to get the approval of someone you love.
And you say: "No" to the big occasions in your life for fear of losing the love of someone special.
So in that sparkling place where people sang on command no matter what song, where I felt meandering envy underground, where the music was little more than a means of sustenance, I found the perfect space to underestimate my worth.
'Don't worry if others don't like you. Sorry if you don't appreciate yourself. '
STEVIE WONDER 'ISN'T SHE LOVELY' IN THE VIDEO ON SIDE
'Isn't she Lovely?
Isn't she wonderful?
Isn't she precious?
Less than one minute old.
I never thought through love we'd be
Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made fromm love?
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